


Pity the Living

by TheLonelyGodWithABox



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-04
Updated: 2013-06-04
Packaged: 2017-12-13 23:13:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 10
Words: 14,201
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/829943
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheLonelyGodWithABox/pseuds/TheLonelyGodWithABox
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry and Snape are still alive after the battle for Hogwarts, and Snape has to move on or be arrested. He offers Harry a chance to come with him, and Harry accepts. Then, a mysterious man shows up at Spinner's End. No slash. M for torture and rape. Abused!Harry, Good!Severus. Sequel: To Live Without Love.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Fugitive

"He's not dead! He's not dead!"

"What do you mean? Of course he's dead."

"He'd have rigor mortis by now if he were dead."

Harry moved Snape's arm and showed Hermione that it was limp.

"He's been here hours. We need to get him to Madame Pomfrey now."

"Alright, Harry," Hermione sighed. "Ron, help Harry carry Professor Snape."

The two of them formed a chair with their arms and Hermione helped lift Snape into it. They carried him to Hogwarts, over the screaming protests of their back muscles. When they reached an inhabited part, Professor McGonnagall came up.

"What's going on?" she demanded.

"Snape's not dead!" Harry explained. "He doesn't have rigor mortis yet. We need to get him to Madame Pomfrey."

"Well, what are you waiting for?" McGonnagall said. "Peeves," she said, addressing the ghost floating near her. "Go tell Madame Pomfrey that Snape is coming and needs immediate medical treatment. Have her get anti-venom of the most powerful kind ready."

"Right-o," Peeves said. Even Peeves realized that this was not the time to be problematic about taking orders. McGonnagall got Harry and Ron some help carrying Snape to the hospital wing. True to his orders, Peeves had Madame Pomfrey ready with every anti-venom Hogwarts had. No sooner had Harry and Ron seen to the delivery of Snape, when Harry collapsed on the floor.

"Harry! Harry!" Ron and Hermione screamed.

.oO-Oo.

Harry woke up rubbing his head. "Ow," he thought. "Let's see, I defeated Voldemort, and then went back to get Snape's body...and he wasn't dead, and we brought him to the hospital wing, and...and then I lose it." He opened his eyes. Glancing around he saw that he was in the hospital wing too. No one was there. Well, almost no one.

"Hello, Potter."

"Hello, Professor Snape."

"I was wondering when you'd finally wake up."

"What happened?"

"The word is that you collapsed from exhaustion. You should be almost ready to go back to your dormitory."

"No, I meant what happened with you? You should have died."

"I'm sorry to disappoint you, Potter," Snape said with a sneer. Harry's eyes narrowed slightly in frustration. Snape smirked slightly. "But to answer your real question, I used a method called anima abscondito. It means that I put my consciousness into my primal brain - my cerebrum. That put me into a state of hibernation really, which slowed all my bodily functions which made it slower for Nagini's poison to penetrate my body."

"I've never heard of this anima abscondito before."

"Of course you haven't, Potter," Snape said. "While not dark in and of itself, it's something that really only Death Eaters, or former Death Eaters would know. But I assure you, it isn't dark."

"Oh." Harry was silent a few moments, thinking about the memories Snape had given him.

"Harry," Snape said softly. "You really should have paid more attention in Occlemency." Harry blushed. "I knew we'd get up to this eventually, if I survived Nagini's bite. Try not to hate me too much for what I did. I don't hate you. It was only an act." Snape let his head rest against the headboard. Suddenly he looked very old, and very tired. His eyes closed, and Harry wondered if he had suddenly taken a turn for the worse. "Only an act," he muttered. Snape's eyes snapped open. "It was my penance. Everything I've done up until now was my punishment for what I did, what I did to you and to your mother."

"Yeah," Harry said quietly. "I know. Thank you."

"You're welcome. But my job isn't over yet. You survived too, although I don't think that was in Dumbledore's plan."

"Dumbledore," Harry scoffed.

"Yes, I know," Snape said. If he had feathers, Harry had a feeling that they would have ruffled. "If you remember in my memories, I did not approve of everything Dumbledore did to you. But anyway, you survived. You don't have parents, and your godfather is dead too." Harry winced. "I promised Dumbledore that I would watch over you, albeit from a distance. Now here develops the problem. I will be a wanted man in the wizarding world. I killed Dumbledore, and I'll be sentenced to life in Azkaban if not the Kiss when I leave this ward."

"I can vouch for you. I can tell them what happened," Harry said looking horrified.

"There is something you need to learn, Harry," Snape said with another slight sneer, "and that is, the world forgets its heroes much faster than it forgets its villains. The cost of my mission is that I will be remembered as a villain. They will not forget me."

"But they can't forget me either! I saved them. With help. But I saved them."

"They will remember you for a little while. But then even they will forget. Now, I have one shot at escaping Azkaban, and that is to enter the Muggle world. I would not be able to contact anyone in the wizarding world. Yet I promised to Dumbledore that I would look out for you."

"So...you're asking me to come with you?" Harry's voice went very high at the end. He was either very confused or very shocked and he couldn't figure out which. Or both, maybe.

"In a manner of speaking, yes."

"But Ron and Hermione..."

"Yes, there is that. But unless I'm sorely mistaken, they have each other. While they would never mean you evil, Harry, they will set up a life of their own, and have a life which you are not part of." Harry nodded. Somewhere deep inside him, he knew that. "Harry, you don't have to come. It's fine if you don't."

"What would you do if I said no?"

"I would stay here."

"In the hospital ward?" Once again, that confused look crossed Harry's face.

"No, you stupid boy," Snape snapped. "In the wizarding world. I'd take a few lessons from Black on hiding out around Hogwarts while avoiding the authorities."

"Because of me?"

"Well of course. I built my life around Lily, and because of that, it's been built around you."

"I'll come with you." Harry didn't know where the words came from. After he heard them it seemed like someone else had said them. Harry supposed it came from a desire to not see his professor, even if he was the most hated one, a fugitive in the wizarding world.

"Fine," Snape said releasing some built up tension in his face. "We'll go to Spinner's End as soon as I'm better. In the meantime, make your farewells, but do not tell anyone what our plan is. I can't afford to be stalked by Aurors."

"What about Ron and Hermione?"

"Seeing as they know everything else, and even Dumbledore trusted them, I suppose you can tell them. You'll tell them anyway. Weasley's probably not bright enough to do much damage anyway." Snape smirked. "Sorry. But they must not breathe a word."


	2. Talks

"Ron, Hermione," Harry said as he sat down at a table in the Gryffindor common room. They were the only ones there. "I have something I to tell you."

"There's something we need to tell you too, Harry!" Hermione said excitedly. Harry could hardly remember her seeming more excited about anything. She was practically bouncing as she moved and her smile was so wide, Harry wondered whether her face would break. Ron and Hermione sat down across from Harry.

"You go first," Harry said. He suspected what they were going to tell him anyway.

"Ron and I are in a relationship," Hermione said almost squealing. She giggled a bit. "Isn't it wonderful? The git finally asked me." She gave Ron a huge hug.

"Congratulations," Harry said. His smile was genuine, but at the same time it felt forced. "It is wonderful." Ron grinned stupidly.

"She's been like this since I asked her. Kinda mental isn't it?" Harry looked uncomfortable. "So what was it you wanted to tell us?"

"Well, first you can't tell anyone else, okay?" Any hint of smile was gone from Harry's face.

"Of course," Hermione said, mimicking his serious nature. "If you say so."

"Snape and I will be leaving Hogwarts as soon as he's better."

"Wait, I think I miss heard you," Ron said. "Can you repeat that?"

"Snape and I will be leaving Hogwarts as soon as he's better." Harry almost felt like smirking at Ron's expression. It was so contorted in confusion that the whole story would have been worth it just to see his expression.

"I guess I heard you right," Ron said, setting his elbow on the table and his head in his hand. "But...why?"

"Well, he's not nearly as big a jerk as we thought, I guess," Harry began. "And he'll go to Azkaban if he stays in the wizarding world for killing Dumbledore, but he also made a promise Dumbledore to look after me. He was willing to become a fugitive to keep an eye on me. But he offered me a chance to go with him. I can't very well say no, with all he's done for me."

"In a very backhanded way, admittedly," Hermione said. "He cares about you, Harry, he really does. You told us what were in those memories, and he wouldn't have fought the Death Eaters and You-Know-Who if it hadn't been for you." Ron was still shaking his head, seemingly trying to fit all the information into his head. Harry laughed.

"Snape said you wouldn't be able to do anything with the information, Ron!"

"Oi!" Ron started. Hermione laughed too.

"We're going to miss you, Harry," Hermione said.

"You have each other," Harry said.

"Yeah, but still, we'll miss you, Harry," Ron said. He looked at Hermione and grinned stupidly again. It was Harry's turn to shake his head. Yes, they'd miss him. But the hole would be much smaller than it would have been at a different time. Much as they didn't want to admit it, they might even like not having him around.

"I know," Harry said. "I'll write to you guys."

"We'll write to you too," Hermione promised. "Won't we, Ron?" Ron looked a bit shocked. She kicked him under the table.

"Ow!" Ron gasped.

"Won't we, Ron?" Hermione repeated.

"Right, right, of course," Ron sputtered. "Of course we'll write." Ron rubbed the offended shin and mouthed, "Why did you have to do that?" to Hermione.

"I'll see to it he actually writes to you," Hermione said. "You know how much he hates writing letters." She rolled her eyes. "Do you know when you're leaving?"

"Not exactly," Harry said. "But Snape is getting better, and it will be soon. In the meantime, let's go enjoy the nice day outside."

.oO-Oo.

Snape was lying on his bed in the hospital wing on his back. He had his hands behind his head as he stared at the ceiling, thinking about who knows what. He was fully dressed, but was still not allowed to leave the ward. A man like Snape didn't take well being detained in one spot for very well. He was pushing the limits that Madame Pomfrey put on him every day. His wounds were nearly completely healed. They were incredibly itchy, but he had been given stern instructions that he should not touch them.

Professor McGonagall entered the room. Snape sat up immediately and swung his legs over the side of the bed.

"Hello, Professor," he said. "I would stand up, but I suspect that if I did, Madame Pomfrey would have a seizure." He smirked.

"Is that all the man knows how to do?" McGonagall thought. "Smirk and sneer? He needs a wider spectrum of emotions."

"Actually, I doubt she would react that badly," McGonagall said. Snape looked curious. "She reports to me that you are healing well, and you're ready to leave." Snape jumped to his feet.

"I remember when he used to do that as a child," she thought sadly. Apparently he was thinking the same thing because he regained his usual composure quickly enough.

"Thank you, Professor," he said. He clasped his hands behind his back and began to walk past McGonagall.

"Severus..." McGonagall said. He stopped and turned to her. "Just remember I never told you that you could leave. I won't be here in a few moments. Remember that I never told you that I have to call the authorities as soon as I find you missing. Remember that I never told you that I would not check back for 5 hours. Remember that I don't know what you and Harry have going."

"How...?" Snape interrupted and was silenced by McGonagall.

"Remember that the ghosts report things. Also remember that they are not legally considered witnesses. Remember that all I have is hearsay. A ghost's rumor. Remember that I have always wished you well, Severus. Remember that I have never told you otherwise now." Was that a smile, a genuine smile, she saw cross Snape's face? Well, no matter, it turned into a smirk quickly enough.

"I see the Slytherins have been rubbing off on you, Professor," he said. He turned around and sat back down on his bed.

"Yes, a most regrettable occurrence, Severus," McGonagall said with a distinct twinkle in her eye. She turned and left the room.

As soon as she was gone, Snape leaped up and began collecting his things from the ward. He had a pile of books among other things laying on a table near by. As soon as he had them together, he took out his wand and sent them flying to his office. In a few minutes, he was there, packing everything up. He used an Undetectable Extension Charm to fit his whole library, wardrobe, and kitchen into one trunk.

"There," he thought to himself. "Now all I have to do is collect Potter."

"Wingardium Leviosa," Snape muttered to his trunk as he levitated it behind him. He opened his door to leave his now bare office to have a fist come down on his nose.

"Potter!" Snape sputtered.

"Professor!" Harry sputtered at the same time. "I'm sorry! Professor McGonagall said that I should come see you. She said something strange. 'I didn't tell you that I didn't think he was in his office.' So I came here. I'm sorry!"

"Go collect your things, Harry. We have exactly 4 hours until we have to have left Hogwarts behind. I still have some final touches to do. When you're ready, I'll meet you on the Quiddich field."


	3. A Better Man

Snape was waiting for Harry on the Quiddich field. He was leaning against a poll, with his arms crossed, tapping his fingers impatiently. The clock was ticking and every moment he spent waiting on the field was a moment not getting further away from Hogwarts. He snorted quietly to himself.

"I never thought I'd see the day when I would run away from Hogwarts," Snape thought. "That's one thing the Dark Lord, Harry, and I all have in common. We always saw Hogwarts as a place of refuge."

He whistled. A black raven flew from the nearby trees and landed on Snape's shoulder. The bird pecked lightly at his ear. Snape reached up and began to stroke the bird.

"I should have come up with a better name for you, girl," he whispered. "Raven is just too obvious and ordinary." She croaked at him. It wasn't a very pleasant sound, but Snape didn't mind. He stroked her feathers again and sighed. The bird could sense her owner's distress and she croaked again, snuggling next to his head. Snape leaned his head against her warm body and closed his eyes, calming his mind.

An indefinite amount of time passed for Snape. He'd almost fallen asleep.

The cry of "Professor!" woke him from his half wakeful state.

"Hmm?" he said. "Oh, there you are, Potter."

"Sorry I took so long," Harry panted. He was lugging his trunk. "Ron and Hermione were hard to find."

"Understandable, Potter," Snape said. "Let's go." He turned on his heel, muttered, "Wingardium Leviosa," and both his and Harry's trunks levitated. "What's in the trunk is all he owns, most likely," Snape thought, "Except for his vault at Gringotts, which won't do him a lick of good in a Muggle world."

"What is the bird, Professor?" Harry asked.

"It's a raven, Potter," Snape returned, sneering a bit. "If that bulk of a Hagrid had taught you by an organized curriculum, you would be able to recognize her." Harry didn't bother to argue the point. When he didn't, Snape continued, "Her name is Raven, and she has been my pet, really, more than a pet, since I left Hogwarts as a student. While familiars, strictly speaking, no longer exist, it is common that wizards and witches have an animal in memory of the time when familiars did exist. That is why each student is encouraged to bring a pet to Hogwarts. You had that white owl, I believe."

"Her name was Hedwig," Harry said.

"Quite a beautiful bird," Snape said. Harry was surprised at the compliment.

"Thank you," he said.

"You'll need to get another animal though."

"I don't want another owl."

"I wouldn't recommend one. When a witch or wizard has a pet die, they rarely choose one of the same kind as the first. Those who do, regret it. There will be time for you to choose species later." They walked in silence for some time.

"Professor," Harry said cautiously. "I'm sorry for how I've acted over the last 7 years, sir." Snape's eyes narrowed a bit as he observed Harry.

"Apology accepted," Snape said after a moment. "You're a better man than your father, at least." Now it was Harry's turn to narrow his eyes. "Do no misunderstand me," Snape said, "your father did fight against the Dark Lord and he did well. He never apologized to me, because, I believe, he never saw what he had done as anything serious."

"But you loved my mother," Harry said almost so that Snape couldn't hear it.

"Yes. Yes, I did," he said, his voice getting stronger as he continued speaking.

"And you loved me for being her son, but hated me for being my father's, and not yours." It wasn't a question. Snape stopped and turned to Harry. He caused the trunks to float gently to the ground, and put his wand away. There was a light in Snape's eyes that Harry had never seen before, and he was afraid. He backed up a pace. Snape reached out and grabbed him by the shoulders, gently but firmly. Harry glanced at Snape's hands, and then into his eyes.

"Harry, there is something you need to understand," he said at length. He paused again. "You are absolutely right." He let go of Harry and took out his wand, reinstating the spell on the trunks.

"So that's the only reason you're taking me with you?" Harry challenged, his will getting bolder as he saw that Snape hadn't hurt him. "Because of my mother? You see me as a punishment for your actions?" Harry hadn't moved, and Snape turned around. He sighed visibly, and looked annoyed.

"Harry," Snape said, this time putting only one hand on his shoulder, and encouraging him to walk along. "That was exactly how I saw you when you came to Hogwarts, and a few years after. You seemed reckless, arrogant, and insolent. I was right, you were. But you have recognized these faults and tried to move past them, am I correct?"

"Yes," Harry admitted.

"It isn't easy for a Slytherin to like Gryffindor qualities," Snape continued. "We are very often put into houses, I think, not based on our strengths and virtues, but based on our weaknesses. Slytherins are power hungry, and Gryffindors are arrogant. The faster both of us admit to that, the faster peace between houses will come. As you grew, you came to this same conclusion. Maybe not so that you could articulate it, but you came to know your own arrogance. Even when you gave in to it, you saw it in yourself. As I observed this in you, I began to recognize that you were not your father. As I said before, you are a better man than your father. You have your father's faults, but often your mother's objectivity, and sometimes, her judgement."

"But then how do you view me now?" Harry pressed.

"As the son I wish I could have had with Lily," Snape said. He felt he had been sincere far too long. "Minus the dreadful eyesight." He cast a sidelong smirk at Harry. Then it faded. "Of course, if you've changed your mind about coming with me..."

"No, sir," Harry said emphatically.

"Very well," Snape said. "What did you call your godfather?" Harry looked confused.

"Sirius," Harry said, "Or Padfoot, if he was in his animangus form. Ron, Hermione, and I called him Snuffles when the Ministry was looking for him." Harry didn't see where this was going.

"Then I suppose it's only consistent if you call me by my first name as well, as I am no longer your professor."

"You mean Severus?" Harry said astonished.

"I believe that is my first name." He said it with a bit of a sneer. Harry knew he would have to accustom himself to the occasional sneer and frequent sarcasm. Much as Severus' motives and thoughts had been revealed to him so that he could understand, and forgive his old Potions teacher, Severus still had the same personality. Harry doubted whether Severus would be any more lenient about rules or directions than he had been in Potions either.

"Still," Harry thought, grinning slightly, "no Slytherin's perfect."

"Or Gryffindor," Snape countered, looking at him pointedly. "We really need to work on Occlemency." Severus shook his head and stopped. He grabbed Harry by the arm, since Harry didn't know where Spinners End was, and apparated the two of them, and the trunks, with a loud crack to a brown and dreary street. There was one building that looked different than the rest.

"This is Spinner's End," Severus said, approaching this different house. It was burned and decimated.


	4. Short Lived Happiness

"Severus!" Harry yelled as he blanched. "What happened to your home?"

"What?" Severus responded, with a confused expression. "What happened? Oh!" A light seemed to dawn on Severus' face. "You mean the wards I activated on the house." Harry still looked at him with an expression of confusion. "I activated them just before we left Hogwarts. To wizards, expect those I choose, the house looks burned and ransacked. This way, Aurors and Death Eaters won't believe I'm actually here. To the Muggles, who have strict laws on having houses, it looks like all the rest." Severus waved his wand, and suddenly the house changed in Harry's view. Suddenly, the whole house looked fairly well kept, like the others, just as Severus had promised.

"Is that better?" Severus asked.

"Yes," Harry said. "Much better."

"So it's just you, me and the Muggles who see it as it is," Severus concluded. "We should be fairly safe here." They went into the house. It was dark, of course. Harry had no doubt that even still Severus had a certain liking for keeping things dark. There were books everywhere. Well, that too was to be expected. Slytherins and Ravenclaws were closely related to each other on the matter of books. The house was fairly spacious, yet cluttered at the same time. Severus left Harry's side and went and turned on a light switch.

"Sorry about the mess," Severus offered. "I usually don't spend that much time here so it isn't necessary to keep it tidy. The house has full Muggle amenities, including light switches." He nodded to the one he had just used. "I want to keep the magic usage to a minimum. I might be being paranoid, but the Muggles make life work without magic, so we should be able to as well. Still, keep your wand with you at all times, Harry. If there is any reason why you have to use it, you should." Severus looked at him gravely. Harry nodded.

"Alright," he agreed. He reached out to a book sitting on a nearby coffee table.

"Be careful what you read, Harry," Severus warned in a low voice. "I have many books on the Dark Arts in this house. I would not advise that as light reading." Harry looked at the title of the book he had chosen. The Dark Arts and How to Master Them. He quickly set it back where he'd gotten it. Severus snorted a bit at Harry's reaction.

"Why do you still have them?" Harry asked. His face was pale and he backed away from the book almost as cautiously as he would have backed away from Nagini or the basilisk.

"If you will remember," Severus said, beginning to sneer again, "I only just got here."

"Oh right," Harry said. He still eyed the book warily.

"The book won't bite you, Harry," Severus said, smirking. "And I have no plans on getting rid of any of the books later." Harry looked up at him. "Because they're rare books, and the information in them is almost as rare." Severus had answered Harry's question before he could ask it. Was he using legitimacy again or was he just guessing? Harry didn't know, and frankly, at that moment, didn't care.

"But...but..." Harry tried to argue.

"But in order to really, truly, know how to defend against the Dark Arts," Severus said calmly, "one has to know what the Dark Arts are. That's the biggest flaw in the Defense class as Hogwarts. So very often the teachers know as little about the Dark Arts as any other wizard."

"Or even less," Harry said. It was his turn to smirk.

"Umbridge," they said together in unison. Harry laughed.

"Are you hungry, Harry?" Severus went to the refrigerator and opened it. He stuck his head in, and pulled out some soup.

"Sure," Harry said. Severus reheated the soup and they sat down to eat it.

"How do you keep the food good when you're not here for so long?" Harry asked.

"There's a preservation charm on the fridge," Severus said. "Keeps it good nearly forever." They were silent for some time. Harry reflected how his life had changed so much in the last few days. Voldemort was dead. He had left Hogwarts. And now he was eating soup in the kitchen of his most hated former Potions professor, because he wanted to.

"Harry," Severus suddenly addressed him, breaking him out of his reverie. "We need to come up with a plan."

"How so?" Harry asked.

"Well, I need to get a job, and you need to do something. I'm sure I can get hired at a pharmacy. Records are easy enough to fake and I have the necessary knowledge. You, on the other hand, don't." Severus waited a moment to see if Harry was going to argue. He didn't.

"I can go to college," Harry volunteered. "Then I could get the knowledge."

"Yes," Severus agreed. "What sort of a Muggle career interests you? I trust you know what your choices are."

"Of course," Harry said. "Living with the Dursley's did have a few benefits. Perhaps I could be involved with law enforcement?"

"The Muggle equivalent of an Auror, I see," Severus said. "Not unlike my own rationale. A pharmacist - a Muggle potions master. You can apply to the local college come the start of the fall term," Severus continued. "There will be people there to help you through it. To them, the name Harry Potter will mean nothing. You won't be the Boy Who Lived. You won't be Albus Dumbledore's prize student. You won't make the Quiddich team. You won't be anything special to them. Which is good. It won't damage autonomy."

Harry wasn't sure if he was going to like not being anyone special or not. He knew he hated having been special - a freak - even among wizards on a number of levels. He just wasn't sure if the alternative was any better. But leave it to Severus to drive the point home. Well, this was what he signed up for. He was ready to finally live.

.oO-Oo.

Several months had passed. These had been some of Harry's happiest months, and, he suspected, Severus' too. Harry was attending classes once again, and Severus had gotten a job at a drug store as "a Muggle potions master." Both of them seemed quite happy. Harry was happy to be able to settle down and concentrate on lessons without bothersome adventures always seeking him out. He certainly wasn't going to seek them out. Harry had a class schedule which was very heavy a couple days a week. So on Wednesdays and Fridays, he was gone almost the whole day. It was on one of these Fridays that, once again, Harry's whole life changed.

.oO-Oo.

There was a knock at the door. Severus had just gotten home from his job, and had been getting ready to sit down. He sighed.

"It's probably the neighbor woman again," he thought. "No one else every comes."

He went to the door and looked out. He couldn't make out the person's features at all. It was too dark. But it definitely was not the neighbor woman. Severus opened the door.

"Come in," he said. The visitor pulled back a black hood.

"Good evening, Severus," the visitor said. "It's been a long time."

Instant recognition appeared on Severus' face.


	5. Devius Snape

"What do you want here?" Severus said guardedly.

"Oh, come now," the visitor said, reaching into his sleeve and pulling out a wand. Suddenly the wand lit up. Severus could see the visitor's face now in full detail. This man bore a strong resemblance to himself.

"Devius," Severus whispered, "Leave me alone." Devius laughed.

"Brother, brother..." he laughed shaking his head a bit. He stepped forward. Severus retreated to the wall.

"The Dark Lord is dead," Severus said. "Let's each go our own ways."

"The Dark Lord may be dead," Devius agreed, "but his followers are not."

"I can see that," Severus sneered. "Get to the point. What do you want?"

"You're a traitor, Severus," Devious said simply. "I am here to see that you are punished for that." Severus paled a bit.

"Just say it then," Severus said, barely audible. "You can kill me now - with two words and a flick of your wand - just do it." Severus looked away.

"Severus," Devius said, spitting the word out, "you're losing your touch. What sort of revenge would just killing you be? I want real revenge for my Lord." Severus made eye contact with him again.

"Then Cruciate me into madness then," Severus dared him. He wasn't sure why he was provoking his brother - maybe so that this whole business would be done before Harry got home.

"No, I won't do that either," Devius said. "Petrificus Totalus!" Severus' body went rigid and he leaned against the wall. He cursed himself for having left his wand behind.

"Accio Severus' wand," Devius said. There was a rattle and his wand came flying, grasped immediately by Devius. Then Devius came up to him and grabbed his hair. He selected three strands and pulled. Then he took out a vial of liquid and put the hair in it, and he drank. With a flick of his wand, Severus was released from the full body-bind curse. Severus glared at his brother, but couldn't think of anything to say. Before his eyes a perfect replica of himself stood grinning at him.

.oO-Oo.

"Severus!" Harry called as he stepped in, "I'm home!" No one answered. "Oh well," Harry thought, "He must be asleep." Harry went to his room to study a bit before he fell off to sleep as well, with his back to the door. The house was deathly quiet. Suddenly his bedroom door opened.

"Hello, Severus," Harry said without looking up. "I thought you were asleep."

"Harry," the poly-juiced Devius said, "I need to see your wand for a moment." Harry reached into his sleeve and pulled it out handing it to Devius once again without looking up. Harry felt something cold under his jaw. He looked over and saw his own wand pointed at his throat. His eyes followed his wand to Devius' hand, up his arms, and to his face. Harry looked horrified. Then he smiled.

"Your sense of humor always was a bit...strange, Severus," Harry said. He felt the wand dig deeper into his throat. His smile faded a little bit, to be replaced with some confusion.

"We need to talk about that," Devius said. "What was I at Hogwarts?"

"A professor?" Harry guessed, not seeing what this had to do with anything. Could Severus have totally cracked while he was gone? Harry doubted it. Severus was one of the sanest people he knew.

"What position did I hold?" Devius continued.

"Potions Master," Harry said.

"And that is what you will call me from here on out," Devius concluded.

"Potions Master?" Harry asked, confused.

"No," Devius chuckled, "just Master."

"Your sense of humor really needs to be checked, Severus," Harry said turning away from the wand pointed at his throat.

"Crucio," Harry heard Devius whisper. Harry fell out of his chair as a burning pain racked his body. He thrashed and rolled, but nothing he did made the pain subside. Finally, he began to whimper a bit.

"There," Devius said releasing him at the first whimper. Harry rolled onto his hands and knees and looked up at Devius. Fear and confusion were obvious in the boy's face.

"What was that for?" he panted. Severus had never laid a violent hand on him since he mouthed off at school a couple times. Even then it only stung a bit for a moment and he knew he had deserved it.

"I told you what to call me," Devius said, grinning. Harry just stared open mouthed at Devius. "Respond to me, boy!"

"Yes...Master," Harry said. The word felt awful on his tongue. He dropped his gaze and his head as he sat on his heels.

"That's better," Devius said.

"What do you want?" Harry asked, still looking at his quivering hands in his lap. He could feel himself shaking all over. It was probably the effects of the Cruciatus curse, Harry concluded.

"I want you to entertain me," Devius said, rubbing his wand against his face thoughtfully. "Crucio!" he yelled again. Harry fell on his back as he cried out.

"Please stop!" he begged between screams. Perhaps it was because this was the second one, or perhaps Devius was getting warmed up, but for whatever reason, this one was much worse than the first. Harry banged his head on the floor. He wasn't sure what made him do this, but maybe it was an attempt to hurt whatever was hurting him. It only gave him a headache. Harry writhed on the ground. He just wanted to leave his body behind. But he couldn't figure out how to leave it. "Stop! Please!" he continued to gasp. "What do you want? I'll do whatever you want!" Suddenly the blinding pain was gone. Harry could feel every muscle in his body quivering. And he still had that headache. What had possessed him to do that? He gazed up at the ceiling, afraid or unable to move, Harry didn't want to know which. Devius came into his view, towering over him. Harry's eyes widened a bit.

"Please don't do it again," he pleaded. Devius arched an eyebrow. "Master," Harry added, his face reddening. "What do you want from me?" he asked again.

"I already told you, stupid," Devius said. "Entertain me. The better job you do, the less time I will have to use. Crucio!" he said for the third time that night.

All Harry remembered was a blinding pain entering his body again, and wondering, "Was this what happened to Mr. and Mrs. Longbottom?" After that, he slipped into the painless world of the unconscious.

.oO-Oo.

When Harry came to, he was lying on the floor, with appendages in every direction. He could only assume that this was his position when Devius had left him. Harry felt a trickle of liquid run from his eye. He reached up with his hand at touched it, contemplating. Now that his mind was clear of pain, so his reason had also cleared.

"It can't be Severus," Harry concluded. "Severus would never act like this." He tried to stand up. His muscles rebelled and he fell. He muttered an expletive as he crawled closer to his bed. His clothes were still soaked with sweat from last night. He reached for his wand, but couldn't find it. He closed his eyes in horror as he realized what this meant. Adrenaline began pumping into his blood stream, and he tried standing again. This time it worked. He went to the closed door on the other side of the room, and yanked on it. It was locked. Panic flowed through his veins with the adrenaline. He began pounding on the door with his fists.

"Let me out!" he cried. "Let me out!" No one answered. "Maybe it's just as well," Harry thought. "If he came back, he would probably just Cruciate me again." There was no sound other than the noise Harry was making. "He probably put a silencing charm on the room. That way, no one can hear me." Harry went back to his bed and lay down. He was asleep within minutes, although his dreams were little better than the previous night had been.


	6. The Pensieve

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been copying this over from FanFiction, and I wasn't able to master the italics on AO3. The original had all the memories in italics. I hope it's still clear enough without them.

Devius waved his wand, and a pensieve appeared before himself and Severus. He had Severus confined to his bedroom as well. The difference was that instead of locking Severus in, Devius had placed a cage charm on the room, so that not even all of the room was accessible to him. Severus had been pacing like a caged lion. Well, snake, but they didn't pace.

"What are you doing?" Severus snarled, pushing the limits of his cage as far as he could. Devius was just outside his reach. Severus suspected that he positioned himself there on purpose, just to frustrate him.

"I'm going to show you what just happened," Devius smirked. Severus glared at his brother. Devius reached up to his skull with his wand and pulled out a long silver thread. "If you touch me," Devius said, "you will regret it. I've cast charms and curses all around me for protection." As if to prove his point, he caused his spells to crackle a little. Severus knew better than to doubt his brother's words. "Come, the cage is down. Don't make any foolish attempt to escape though, because I have my wand trained on you." And sure enough, it was. Snape grunted an acknowledgement.

"On the count of three, we both enter," Devius told him. Severus nodded, still glaring. "One, two, three!"

Severus found himself in Devius' memory, in Harry's room. Devius had just entered.

"Hello, Severus," Harry said. "I thought you were asleep."

"Harry," Devius said, "I need to see your wand for a moment."

"No, no, Harry," Severus muttered. Devius smirked.

"Obviously the boy trusts - trusted - you explicitly. He never hesitated." By this time, Devius had Harry at wand point, and Harry still thought it was a joke.

"We need to talk about that," Devius said. "What was I at Hogwarts?"

"A professor?"

"What position did I hold?" Devius continued.

"Potions Master," Harry said.

"And that is what you will call me from here on out," Devius concluded.

"Potions Master?" Harry asked, confused.

"No," Devius chuckled, "just Master."

"Your sense of humor really needs to be checked, Severus."

Severus closed his eyes. Devius noticed and paused the memory.

"And what do you feel now?" Devius taunted.

"It's none of your business," Severus fumed, snapping his eyes open.

"I'll guess. Guilt, that you led him to trust you, and I betrayed it? Anger, that he was so naive? Anger, that I took advantage of it? And frustration, that you can't do anything about it?" Severus closed his eyes again. Devius' voice dropped to a whisper. "Shame?" Severus nodded. Infuriating the man more would only make him hurt Harry, Severus concluded. The least he could do was swallow his pride. Devius restarted the memory.

"Crucio."

"No!" Severus moaned. He watched as Harry went through his first Crucio of the night. Severus winced when Harry whimpered. And he breathed again when Devius let him go.

"What was that for?"

"I told you what to call me," Devius said, grinning. "Respond to me, boy!"

"Yes...Master."

Severus thought he saw the lump of pride go down Harry's throat.

"That's better," Devius said.

"What do you want?"

"I want you to entertain me. Crucio!"

Severus snarled a bit.

"Please stop! Stop! Please! What do you want? I'll do whatever you want!"

Severus listened to the screams, and pleading. He winced more than once, glared at Devius, and felt Harry's pain. When Harry banged his head on the floor, Severus hissed. Devius thought he heard "Stupid" come out of his mouth. Finally, Harry was released from the curse.

"Please don't do it again...Master. What do you want from me?"

"I already told you, stupid, entertain me. The better job you do, the less time I will have to use. Crucio!"

"What did the boy ever do to you?" Severus asked, his voice cold, once he saw Harry fall into unconsciousness. The memory ended, and he and Devius found themselves back in reality. Severus was behind his invisible cage again.

"Well," Devius said, "for one, he killed the Dark Lord. I believe that's enough to warrant any sort of punishment, don't you? Oh, wait, I forgot," he sneered, "you helped him."

"Then do it to me," Severus said, his voice almost pleading, if that were possible. "Do that and everything else you have planned to me instead. Harry was just a tool Dumbledore used."

"Severus," Devius grinned, "I know you well. Well enough that I know the best way to get to you is through the ones you care about. Look at that Mudblood, Lily. You still haven't forgiven yourself for that, have you?" A look of pain crossed Severus' face.

"No," he whispered.

"Not that it needed forgiveness," Devius continued, "but that's the sort of man you are. I won't lay a hand on you in your imprisonment. All that I demand is that you enter the pensieve once a day with me." Severus looked at the ground and nodded.

"You're not Severus," Harry hissed when Devius entered the room. Devius yawned.

"I'm not here to placate ridiculous conspiracies, boy. Get on your knees." Harry didn't move. "Get on your knees!" Harry did so. He was only inches away from Devius, and already breathing hard. He stared at the man's feet. "Beg me not to cruciate you again."

"No," Harry whispered. Devius grabbed Harry by the chin and looked him in the eye. Harry couldn't look away, so he closed his eyes. "Don't, please, don't cruciate me again," he whispered even softer.

"That's better," Devius complimented him, releasing his chin. Harry went back to looking at his shoes. "I won't." Harry's eyes snapped up.

"You won't?" He meant it to come out strong, but to his ears it sounded more like a squeak. Devius smiled at him.

"Of course I won't," Devius said. "Ustulo."

He pointed his want at Harry's torso. Harry shrieked as he tore at his clothes. A horrible burning sensation covered his whole chest. It was worse - much worse - than when Aunt Petunia and put his hand in the frying pan to illustrate to him that he was not to burn supper. Finally, he succeeded in ripping his shirt off. The curse stopped, but the burning didn't. Harry looked down and saw blisters and clear liquid seeping from his skin. He sat with his head against the wall for support. He felt like he was going to be sick. No, he was sick. He leaned over and vomited. His nose was assaulted by the combination of burned flesh and vomit, but leaned against the wall once more. He hated feeling so weak. He looked at Devius through half closed eyes.

"Get up," he said. Harry complied, much to the outrage of his abdominal muscles.

Devius muttered something and the room suddenly became very cold, at least for Harry. It looked like there was a bubble of cold around him. It felt so good on his burn... He closed his eyes while trying to keep his bare shoulders warm. Then the cold stopped, and Harry found out why Devius had cast that spell. His burn flared up twice as bad as before. He groaned as he fell to his knees. He saw something shine out of the corner of his eye and looked up. Devius had a knife. Harry recoiled. There was no way this was going to be good. It felt like he jumped back a few feet but was more like a few inches.

"Don't squirm," Devius whispered in his ear, "or the cuts will be even worse." Harry felt hot tears run down his cheeks.

Devius took the knife and turned it over in his hand a few times, contemplating it. Harry looked, and saw the knife had a black handle, made of the Dark Mark. Black gems filled in the eyes of the skull and snake. Harry tried to calm his heart by slow breaths. Then suddenly, Devius gripped the knife and knelt down next to Harry, where he was sitting on his heels. Devius grabbed Harry's left arm and made a deep cut across his lower arm, near the elbow. Harry noticed he was careful not to cut any major vessels. Blood came pouring out. Harry's eyes, although blinded by tears, looked at Devius' face, and studied it. It looked exactly like Severus', except there was a gleam in his eyes that Harry only had seen when he was punishing infuriating students - like himself - at Hogwarts, usually with something like cleaning cauldrons with a toothbrush. Devius made another cut and inch below the first. And another. Harry had set his teeth, determined not to cry out. A pool of blood was collecting next to him, adding to the general stench of the room. Finally a fourth cut. Harry whined slightly. Devius let go of his arm, and Harry cradled it next to his burned chest. The pain was becoming unbearable. He rocked back and forth, back and forth, in sheer agony. He gasped.

"Just take the pain away," he thought. More hot tears came spilling out of his eyes. He felt consciousness fading again.

Then, right as he was about to faint, he heard, "Evigilabit." His only escape had just been denied him.

"You will stay conscious, Potter," Devius hissed. Harry lay on his side, curled in a fetal position, as his arm throbbed, and his chest burned. He lost track of time. Harry didn't know when Devius left. He didn't even remember falling asleep. But when he woke up, his wounds were scabbed over and his chest burned less, and Devius was gone. Harry cried.


	7. Property of the Half-Blood Prince

"What did you do to him?" Severus demanded Devius first thing when he entered. "What did you do?" Severus had had nothing to do all day except imagine everything that Devius could possibly do to Harry.

"Oh, worried about him, are you?" Devius sneered. Then he wiped the smirk from his face. "I need you." Severus looked confused. "Open your mind to me," Devius continued.

"No," Severus said. There was no way he was going to just let his brother into his mind.

"Severus, you know that I'm as good as you are with the arts of the mind," Devius said, his voice soft and encouraging. "If you don't let me in, I'll just have to break in, and, as I'm sure you are aware, that is not pleasant."

"I don't know what you want," Severus cautioned, "but whatever it is, you'll use it to hurt Harry, and I won't cooperate." Severus spun on his heal and walked across his cage. Suddenly Severus feel to his knees, grabbing at his head. He screwed his eyes shut in pain. Devius had begun a fierce attack on Severus' mind guards.

"Get out," Severus grunted through clenched teeth. He was slowly becoming more of a ball.

"You're not bad at Occlemency," Devius said. "But you can't hold out forever, and you know it. Just give in now, and it will stop the pain."

The struggle went on for some minutes. If Severus didn't concentrate on the time, it was easier to endure. "Just one more moment, just one more moment," he kept promising himself, extending his resistance to Devius' attack. How long Severus resisted, he never knew. Just all at once, Devius broke into his mind, and was sorting through every memory Severus had of Harry. Devius studied the memories and took his time perusing Severus' thoughts and feelings on other matters as well. Finally, Devius' mind retreated. Severus opened his eyes, and whirled on his brother.

"Who do you think you are, to rape another's mind?" he whispered, his voice cold with fury. Devius just smirked back.

"You weren't strong enough to keep me out," he said.

"Of course I wasn't," Severus hissed. "You haven't given me any food or water since you came. You saw to that, that I wouldn't be able to keep you out." Severus' face was a mixture of anger, sorrow, and fear.

"We still have to go over what's new with Potter, though," Devius said, and brought Severus to the pensieve. Then entered into his memory.

"You're not Severus."

"I'm not here to placate ridiculous conspiracies, boy."

Severus groaned. Suddenly everything Devius had done made sense to him. Devius grinned.

"I will prove to him, with memories only you can have, that I am, in fact, you." He cackled a bit. Severus felt his heart rate quicken with fear - at what he was about to see and what was going to happen to Harry.

"Get on your knees. Get on your knees! Beg me not to cruciate you again."

"No."

Severus watched as Devius grabbed Harry's chin and made Harry look at him. Severus saw something melt in fear.

"Don't, please, don't cruciate me again." It was probably his Gryffindor resolve, Severus concluded.

"That's better. I won't."

"You won't?"

Severus knew better than to believe that anything but more pain was meant by that promise.

"Of course I won't. Ustulo."

Severus hissed at the word. He shot the man, both in the memory, and the one next to him, daggers through his eyes. Severus watched as Harry collapsed against the wall and vomited.

"Get up." Harry didn't even argue, Severus observed. Unfortunately, Severus feared, Devius must be gaining ground with his little tactic. He started pacing as he saw Devius cast the cold curse, and knew what it would mean in the end. He was happy that Harry could at least experience a few moments of relief - but knew that his relief would come at a price. Severus heard a thud as Harry fell to his knees.

"That knife," Severus murmered, when Devius pulled it out, "was the Dark Lord's."

"I'm glad you recognize it. Isn't it fitting, that even though the Dark Lord can't come back and get his own revenge, his possessions still can be the instruments of it?"

"Oh yes, how fitting," Severus sneered. He felt awful, looking at Harry, who now had four deep cuts on his arm, as he rocked himself back and forth, and Severus blinked several times.

"Evigilabit."

"You didn't," Severus gasped, as the memory ended. "How long did you force him to consciousness?"

"A few hours," Devius shrugged. Severus growled deep in his throat. He wanted to cry, scream, and hex Devius into next Thursday all at once.

"If you didn't have my wand," Severus threatened, "I would probably break my vow to never touch the Dark Arts again, and kill you now." Devius grinned. Severus turned away and his breathing became suspiciously uneven as Devius left the room.

.oO-Oo.

Harry still lay on the floor, where Devius had left him. He had no will to move. He had no energy to move. Why should he? He heard the door open and close.

"I need water," Harry said. He was shaking as he lay on the floor, but he didn't know if it was from cold, fear, or lack of nutrition.

"Why should I give you water?" Devius asked.

"Because..." Harry began, and he felt his mind unfocus. "Because if you don't, I'll die too fast for you."

It was the only reason he could think of, even though it signed him over to an unmerciful fate. It seemed to be good enough, because the next thing Harry knew, he was sitting up, being supposed by Devius, with a glass of water being pushed to his lips. He drank. He drank and drank, and still he was thirsty, but the glass was emptied. Harry closed his eyes, and Devius let him fall back to the floor with a thud. Harry grunted as his hit the hard floor. Devius kicked him in the small of his back. Harry felt a sickening crunch as his middle bent outward. Pain shot everywhere. Carefully, Harry tried to wiggle his toes. They were still moving, so he concluded that his chord was not yet too badly hurt to give him paralysis. But, he probably had sustained some fractured vertebrae.

"You didn't even thank me, you ungreatful wretch," Devius hissed.

"Thank you," Harry murmured.

"Crucio."

"MASTER!" Harry screamed. His back arched as he tried to escape the pain. Before long he was balancing on his head and feet. He felt his crusted burn reopen under the frantic movement. "Master!" he cried again, hoping that it would end. "I'm sorry!" he finally screamed. The pain relaxed and so did he. But, Harry noticed, the pain wasn't entirely gone.

"Say it again," Devius ordered.

"I'm sorry," Harry muttered. "I'm sorry." Then a familiar light flashed in his eyes, "I'm sorry I was born. I'm sorry I came here with you. I'm sorry I ever cared about you, or thought you had redeemed yourself."

"Look here, boy," Devius said, and then he cooled a bit. "So you no longer think that I'm somehow not Severus Snape?"

"I hope you aren't," Harry muttered.

"Ask me something," Devius said. "Something only Severus Snape would know, and I will answer today."

"What did you say to me when you gave me your memories after Nagini bit you?" Harry asked.

"'Look...at...me,'" Devius responded.

"How did you survive her bite?"

"Anima abscondito. A method only Death Eaters would know."

"And what did I see when I went into your pensieve?"

"You saw James Potter - your father - using my spells against me."

Harry cried out in despair. It truly was Severus Snape standing before him.

"You bloody bastard," Harry whispered. "I should have let you die in the Shrieking Shack."

"Praestrangulo," Devius said. Harry felt his trachea contract, and he found himself unable to breathe. He grabbed at his throat as he rolled from side to side. His vision narrowed to only a small point, as his oxygen starved brain cried out. Finally his oxygen supply got so low he only lay there twitching a bit. He was slipping into unconsciousness that even Devius charms wouldn't be able to keep him from. Harry felt at peace when that occurred to him.

"Respiro," Devius said. Suddenly Harry could breathe again. He gasped as his eyes flew open. His whole body pumped in rhythm as it tried to get oxygen back to the necessary organs.

"Roll over," Devius growled. Harry complied. Out came the knife again, and Harry winced. Devius began cutting into his back. All Harry could tell was that the cuts were short, frequent, and at different angles. After several minutes, Devius stood up.

"Do you know what I did?" he asked.

"No," Harry said.

"I wrote on you."

"What did you write?"

"'The property of the Half-Blood Prince.' I am your master, and I own you. I decide when you eat, drink, and sleep. I decide what you do. You are my property, and I always - always - mark my property. And don't you forget it."

Harry pressed his face against the cool floor, and he felt blood trickle down his back. He was aware the Devius left.


	8. Memories of the Past

"Harry!" Severus cried when the images in the pensieve solidified. Harry lay on the ground unmoving. So many thoughts flashed through Severus' mind.

"I need water." Well, at least he wasn't dead. Or maybe, Severus thought ruefully as he massaged his neck, maybe it would be better if he was. Severus winced. He hadn't meant to think that.

"Why should I give you water?"

"Because..."

"Because he's human," Severus said, "unlike you." Devius snorted.

"Because if you don't, I'll die too fast for you." Severus felt his heart lurch. And he thinks all this is me. He watched as Devius summoned water and picked the boy up, tipping the glass towards his lips. Severus felt grateful at some level that Harry had been given water. Then Severus saw Devius kick Harry and heard the crunch of breaking bone.

"What did you do?" Severus whispered. He watched as Harry stayed absolutely stiff. "What have you done?" His voice was screaming this time.

"Don't worry, he's not paralyzed, if that's what you're afraid of," Devius said. He saw a certain measure of relief wash over Severus' face. "Aw, Severus cares about the boy," he said in a mocking tone. "Severus, the Potions Master -"

"Don't call me that! You've turned it into someone horrid!"

"- who was always so unfair to Harry -"

"I was not! Dumbledore was always letting him off. Someone had to show him that being a celebrity didn't mean he could get away with everything, like his father!"

"You don't need to justify your actions to me," Devius said, still mocking him. He'd paused the memory long before. "Severus, who lusted after his mother -"

"I did not!"

"- a Mudblood -"

"Don't call Lily that!"

"Severus Snape, the man who killed Harry Potter's parents."

Severus' breathing was rapid, and his eyes were wide.

"Yes," Severus said, his voice barely audible. "I killed them, and I grieve every day for it. That's more than you can say for the untold numbers of people you've killed." Devius seemed not to like the direction Severus' words took, and restarted the memory.

"You didn't even thank me, you ungrateful wretch."

"Thank you."

"Crucio."

"He said thank you!" Severus roared. Devius ignored him.

"MASTER!" Harry's screams brought Severus back to the memory. "Master! I'm sorry!"

"Say it again."

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry." Harry's words tore at Severus heart. "I'm sorry I was born. I'm sorry I came here with you. I'm sorry I ever cared about you, or thought you had redeemed yourself." He thought I had redeemed myself? Severus thought. He hated to hear those things come out of Harry's mouth. But at the same time Severus took solace in one thing they meant. That damnable Gryffindor will was still there, defying his tormentor. Severus never thought he'd appreciate a Gryffindor quality - but now he found himself silently cheering on the spark of will that still was Harry's.

"Look here, boy. So you no longer think that I'm somehow not Severus Snape?"

"I hope you're not."

"Ask me something. Something only Severus Snape would know, and I will answer today."

"No, no," Severus moaned. "You didn't." The grief in Severus' voice was apparent.

"What did you say to me when you gave me your memories after Nagini bit you?"

"'Look...at...me.'"

"How did you survive her bite?"

"Anima abscondito. A method only Death Eaters would know."

"And what did I see when I went into your pensieve?"

"You saw James Potter - your father - using my spells against me."

Severus was looking at his shoes and winced when heard Harry cry out. Devius had answered each question perfectly.

"You bloody bastard. I should have let you die in the Shrieking Shack."

"Yes, you should have," Severus agreed quietly.

"Praestrangulo." Devius looked at Severus and saw a dead look in the man's eyes. He was shaken by the use of his memories on Harry and had no reaction that could express his thoughts, so he had none. Severus watched impassively as Harry's thrashing turned to twitching as his oxygen supply became depleted.

"Respiro. Roll over." The impassive look remained on Severus' features as Devius pulled out the knife and began to cut.

"Do you know what I did?"

"No."

"I wrote on you."

"What did you write?"

"'The property of the Half-Blood Prince.' I am your master, and I own you. I decide when you eat, drink, and sleep. I decide what you do. You are my property, and I always - always - mark my property. And don't you forget it."

Severus hissed and glared at Devius.

"Severus," Devius said. "Follow me." With a flick of his wand, the invisible cage was gone. They walked in silence to the door of Harry's room. Devius intoned some spells, leaving Severus silent and invisible. He wouldn't be able to contact Harry in any way, but he would be able to see everything that happened.

.oO-Oo.

Harry's eyes snapped open and he saw Devius standing above him. He hadn't moved from his place on the floor.

"Master," he muttered as he curled in on himself further. "Please, just leave me." Suddenly a presence made itself known in Harry's mind. He cried out as he lost control of his thoughts. It was painful. Just as painful as his Occlemency lessons had been, but this time, when his mind had been opened, the presence did not leave, as Professor Snape's always had before.

He felt memory after memory brought up to his conscious mind. He pressed against the mental presence but there was no hope of dislodging it.

Suddenly he was back at the Dursley's. Uncle Vernon had just finished belting him for blowing up Aunt Marge. "He needs a firm hand," Fudge had said. Vernon took that more literally than intended. Harry bled, and had sustained a black eye. His head pounded with the drumbeat of his pulse, which he hoped would quit. He wasn't sure if he meant the headache or the pulse. Uncle Vernon pushed him against the wall, and put his hand over Harry's throat. Slowly he began to clench his fingers and pull up on Harry so that his toes were off the ground.

"Don't ever let me see another act of your freakishness again, you little ungrateful brat." Harry tried to say that Uncle Vernon was choking him, but he couldn't. He just looked like a fish out of water, and he began to claw at Uncle Vernon's hand. Suddenly, he let go and Harry crumpled to the floor in a ball. Uncle Vernon kicked him in the shin and Harry scrambled to his feet, favoring the offended leg, still gasping for breath.

"You will never, ever, physically retaliate against me, boy," Uncle Vernon had said, his voice cold with fury.

"I couldn't breath, sir," Harry squeaked. "I'm sorry."

"You shouldn't breath at all," Vernon said. "You're not worth it. You should be grateful that you're allowed to." Harry's eyes went wide. It wasn't that this was a new threat - quite the contrary - he received it all the time - but this time Uncle Vernon might just be angry enough to carry it out. Uncle Vernon had been approaching him and Harry had been retreating as fast as he could. Finally he found himself in a corner, and Uncle Vernon a few inches from his face. Harry threw his arms over his eyes. He didn't need his glasses broken, not tonight. He cowed down a bit, hoping his position of surrender might placate his uncle. He was truly mad if he seriously thought that would deter his uncle. Another barrage of blows met Harry's arms. He whimpered, and edged his way down the wall until he was sitting on the floor, protecting his skull with his arms.

"Get up here and face your punishment, wimp," Uncle Vernon growled. Harry stood up slowly on shaky legs. Uncle Vernon slapped him on the side of the head and his headache mounted. He drew his breath in through his teeth.

"Have you learned your lesson, boy?"

"Yes, sir," Harry said.

"Well, no harm in repeating the lessons," his uncle hissed. And the beating continued. Uncle Vernon used whatever he could get his hands on to hit Harry. One time it was a meter stick, another he turned a towel into something of a whip, and broke a vase over Harry's head.

"Clean up the mess," Uncle Vernon ordered after he shattered the glass. Harry knelt down, but his vision was still blurry and double from the blow. He tried to pick up the pieces, but only cut himself on them and earned himself another kick from his uncle. Finally, his uncle took mercy upon him and shut him up in his cupboard where Harry suffered until he fell asleep.

"Get out of my head!" Harry said.

"Oh, Harry," Severus whispered, even though he knew Harry couldn't hear him. "I wish I had taught you better."

Harry closed his eyes in concentration, but saw another memory.

Dudley and his gang were chasing Harry through the park. It was was one of those rare times when Harry had been allowed out. He had been walking on the play ground, when "Big D" and his bunch of bullies came over.

"Hey, Big D," one of them said as they cornered Harry, "look at this one. It's a bunch of clothes come to life. Can't see anybody in them. Oh wait, look, it's Harry Potter!" They all laughed, except Harry. He looked pleadingly at Dudley.

"Please don't let them," he said, "please don't."

"Or what are you going to do?" Dudley answered. He came forward and whispered in Harry's ear, "I know you can't do a freak show or you'll get expelled from that crack-pot school. You're nothing but an undersized freak with us." Dudley backed up, and turned away.

"Do what you want with him," he heard Dudley say noncommittally. "I'm going to get some food." He walked off. The rest of the gang eyed Harry. Last thing he knew one of them grabbed him by the head and slammed it into the school wall. His memory picked up again, waking up in a forest. His clothes were messed and his body was one big ache. Darkness had fallen, and he knew that he was in for it at home.

"Please," Harry gasped, "go away." Another memory played.

"No, not Harry! Spare him, take me!" a woman shrieked.

"Avada Kedavra!" A green light shot out and the woman fell down. Another light shot out at Harry.

Harry was sitting up, sobbing. He'd given up getting the foreign presence out of his mind, and laid his forehead on his knees as he relived in stark detail every instance of abuse, humiliation, and pain that he ever had. He relived Cedric's death and the graveyard. He relived multiple incidents at the Dursleys and at Dudley's hands. He relived the despair that consumed him when Ron had left the horcrux hunt. He relived every Dementor attack. He relived Sirius' death. The bodies of Lupin, Tonks, and Fred swam before his eyes. Mad-Eye Moody even made an appearance. Finally, when Harry thought he would have run out of tears, the presence retreated. Harry looked up. His expression was unreadable.

Devius grabbed him by the shoulder, and threw him face down on the ground. Harry felt his clothes spelled off of him.

"No!" he shrieked, and tried to move away. His body rebelled, and wouldn't move. "Please no! Anything!" He heard the sound of a zipper and shrieked further. He tried to fight, to make his body move, but he was frozen. Feeling a hand touching him far lower than it should be, he screamed loud enough that Severus covered his ears. And then a splitting pain as something was forced inside him. He screamed all the louder.

"Stop, please stop!" He begged, sobbing, but Devius didn't pay attention. He felt a warm liquid spread over his rectum. Harry gave up, and surrendered to the pain, letting it wash over him as he realized that this was Severus, the man he had trusted, and Harry would never be the same again. His whole body relaxed in despair.

For a moment, Devius stopped, and looked at the prostrate boy. His face was buried in his hands. For a moment, Devius thought that perhaps he had gone too far, and the boy had died. But no, when he looked closely, Harry's shoulders shook ever so slightly with the silent tears of despair that Devius had tried so long to obtain. He continued his latest humiliation.

Sitting in a corner, Severus rocked himself back and forth as he moaned softly, feeling miserable as he listened to Harry's outcries, and unable to do anything to help him. Severus wept.


	9. Pity the Living

Harry pushed himself up, and pulled his clothes back on. He felt dead inside, yet a desperate desire to escape still pushed him on. He had lost all track of time during these last few...days? Weeks? He wasn't sure. He moved over to his trunk, and began to look through it, hoping to find something useful. At the bottom, he saw a vial of liquid.

"The Liquid Luck from Professor Slughorn," Harry thought. "I may as well." He took it out and downed it in one gulp. He felt some better just from drinking it, but it didn't make him feel confident or happy like it had last time. It just made his despair more manageable. He put the vial away. His door opened, and a plate of food was shoved in.

"Here," Devius said, as he looked at Harry. He kicked the plate over to where Harry stood. Harry couldn't meet his eyes. "Eat up. You'll need it."

"Yes, Master," Harry said, still looking at the ground. He heard the door click shut. He picked up the plate of food and sat on the edge of his bed as he looked at it. There was a potato, some carrots, and a piece of bread. They were all cold, but as Harry looked at it, he realized just how hungry he was. Not even his loss of hope could stop him from wolfing the food down. He set the plate down on the bed, and went over to the door, reaching out to the doorknob. It turned, and he cracked the door open just an inch. His heart jumped into his throat.

"It's the potion," he thought. "It has to be. I might be able to escape. This might just be possible!" He felt a glimmer of hope return. "Calm down, calm down," he told himself. "I'll probably be caught and worse done to me." Harry just couldn't face the hope of escape just to have it shattered. He kept himself calm and he silently left the room, closing the door behind him.

"I need my wand," Harry thought. He sneaked over to Severus' bedroom. He tried the door, and sure enough, this wasn't locked either. His heart pounded loudly in his ears, and suddenly he felt hopeful, no matter how much he told himself not to. He opened the door just enough to slip in, and then silently closed it behind him, his back to the rest of the room. Then he turned around.

"Harry!" Severus exclaimed. Severus had a look of shock on his face. Harry looked at him for a moment, and gave him a look of such despair that Severus winced. Harry fell do his knees at Severus' feet and put his face in his hands.

"I'm sorry," he muttered through them. "I'm sorry. Please don't hurt me. I'll go back."

"Harry," Severus said, crouching down to the same level as Harry was. He was voice was soft and concerned. Harry lifted his face from his hands, and met Severus' eyes for a moment. Severus hoped his eyes would say what he couldn't put into words. Suddenly the door blew open behind them, and both Severus and Harry leaped to their feet. Harry saw before him two men who looked identical. His jaw hung open.

"I see you found your way to your wand," Devius said, motioning to where both Severus' and Harry's wands were on display. "Oh, you want to know what's going on?" he continued noticing Harry's expression. Harry nodded.

"This is my poly-juiced state," he said, nodding to Severus, "thanks to his donation of the hair." Severus snorted. "This," Devius continued waving his want and muttering something, "is my real state." He switched forms before their eyes. He had the same black eyes and hair that Severus had, but he kept it cut shorter and his face was rounder. "I'm Devius Snape," he said with a full bow to Harry, "and I am the one who has been visiting you." Harry covered his mouth in shock. "Now," he said, "I can see to the both of you together."

"You will not harm him," Severus said, coldly and evenly, as he laid a hand on Harry's shoulder. Harry flinched.

"Maybe I won't," Devius conceded thoughtfully. Finally he said, "My work here is done." He put his wand to his temple. "Avada Kedavra!" There was a momentary flash of green, and then Devius crumpled to the floor. All Devius' spells died with him.

Severus looked at Harry, who was in pain, mental and physical, and in pure shock. He looked like he was ready to pass out. Severus drew closer and Harry began to collapse. Severus caught Harry, who shuttered.

"May God have mercy on my soul," Severus muttered as he carried Harry to his own bed, and lay him down. He grabbed his wand and did a diagnostic on Harry. After that, Severus began healing the worst of the boy's bodily injuries. When it looked it like the worst was past, Severus left. Now he felt like he was going to pass out.

"I need to clear my mind," he told himself aloud. "I'm starving, I'm dehydrated." He went to the kitchen and saw to some food and water for himself. After that he still felt terrible, but at least he wasn't going to collapse. He brought water upstairs to where Harry still lay, motionless, but living. And so began a long and tedious week for Harry and Severus. They never spoke.

.oO-Oo.

One morning Harry woke to find a note on his water glass. It read, "If you feel up to it, you can come downstairs." Harry downed his water and went to the kitchen. No one was there. He began fixing himself a cup of tea. In a few minutes, it was ready and he sat down, alone, at the table, letting the smell sooth him, and heat relax him.

Severus opened the door and let it swing shut behind him. He looked at Harry, and Harry looked at him. Neither said anything, and Severus proceeded to make himself a cup of tea as well. When it was finished, he sat across from Harry. Severus looked at his tea, as Harry's gaze drilled into him.

"Words cannot even begin to express what I should say," Severus began. He met Harry's eyes. "I've thought about what I should say for a long time, and I can't come up with anything suitable."

"That's fine," Harry said, his voice horse. He cleared his throat.

"I'm sorry."

"You didn't do anything," Harry said, as he broke eye contact.

Severus got up and turned his back to Harry as he paced a bit. Harry thought he heard Severus mutter, "How much more grief can I endure?" before he turned back to Harry. He walked over to where Harry sat and got to his knees before him. Harry's eyes widened.

"Please forgive me," Severus said, as he searched Harry's face. "Devius Snape was my brother, and I brought this down on you when I asked you to come with me."

"Please," Harry gasped, "get up. I don't want you kneeling to me." Severus obliged and sat back where he was originally.

"Devius and I were both Death Eaters," Severus began, looking into Harry's eyes, pleading with him to understand what he was saying. "We joined at the same time. The Dark Lord liked both of us, and monitored our work closely. Devius always did his job well. But I did mine better. He never could come to grips with being second best. And then it came to light that all these years, I had, in fact, been working against the Dark Lord. I should have known that Devius would come looking for me - honestly, I didn't think of it. I should have known that he would not have forgotten that I was better. I should have known that my wards would not have deterred him from checking the house anyway. I should have thought to bring my wand to the door that night when he knocked. And I should have known that he always did his job well.

"Harry, I understand if you can't forgive me. I don't expect you to."

"I suppose you want to know what happened," Harry said, once again, breaking eye contact. "I suppose you want me to tell you?"

"No," Severus said. He swallowed hard. "I saw everything that happened through a pensieve. I was in the room with you on the last night." That seemed to get Harry's attention. His head snapped up.

"You were?" he gasped.

"Yes, Harry," Severus affirmed, meeting Harry's eyes. "Devius had spelled me so that I could not contact you or help you in any way. If I were able to have helped you that night, I would have. I would have died for you if that would have helped. I don't say that lightly either, since it goes against every instinct I have as a Slytherin. I am so sorry I couldn't do more." Harry nodded, and looked at his tea.

"I believe you," he said.

"Can you forgive me?"

"There's nothing to forgive," Harry said, dismissively.

"Yes, there is," Severus insisted. "I destroyed your family on a fateful night, nearly 17 years ago, because I didn't think. I destroyed you, now, because of the same mistake." Severus closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. There was silence.

"I forgive you," Harry finally said.

"Thank you," Severus said. Their eyes met again, and Severus' looked like they were about to spill over with tears. After a moment he collected himself.

"I think you should live on your own for awhile," he said, his voice even again.

"Why?" Harry said, suddenly looking shocked again. "You don't want me here?"

"No, it's not that at all, Harry," Severus said, making eye contact again, willing him to understand what this was costing him. "I think you need to be away from me."

"I-I don't know what you mean," Harry said.

"You don't think I've noticed the way you jump when I enter the room? You don't think I've noticed the way you cringe when I touch you? You don't think I've noticed the way you cry out when you sleep? Or what you cry out?" Harry nodded.

"I suppose you would have noticed," he conceded. "I don't mean to do it, though," Harry continued. Now he was pleading, willing Severus to understand. "I know you didn't do any of those things, and I hate it when I act like that."

"But wouldn't you rather I just wasn't around? Answer me honestly." Severus' expression forced him to keep eye contact, much as he didn't want to.

"Yes," Harry said, barely audible.

"Because it's a continuation of your torture to see me every day."

"Yes."

"My brother always did his job well."

"I can't leave though," Harry objected.

"Why not?"

"I don't have any money, and I don't have a job."

"I will pay for everything you need," Severus said. "I can afford it, and it's what you should do. There's no need to worry. You can continue to go to college. I have everything arranged." Harry nodded.

"Thank you, Severus," he said.

"You should probably pack as soon as you can." Harry nodded again, and left the table, his tea untouched. Severus cleared away both of their untouched cups.

.oO-Oo.

"So this is it, then," Harry said, his trunk at his feet, his coat on, standing just inside the front door at Spinner's End.

"Write to Ron and Hermione," Severus advised. "Lean on them, if you need to."

"I will," Harry said. "I'll write to you too."

"Thank you, Harry," Severus said softly. "Don't do it if it makes you uncomfortable, but I will always be here. Spinner's End will always welcome you." Harry looked undecisive for a moment. Then suddenly he threw his arms around Severus' neck and hugged him tightly. Severus was caught off guard but after a moment, he return the tight embrace equally. Harry broke it off suddenly, picked up his trunk and left. Severus gazed after him.


	10. Epilogue: With Love, Harry

It was a sunny day when Severus went to the door to receive his post. He began flipping through the envelopes, and saw one hand-addressed to a Mr. Severus Snape, with a return address of Mr. Harry James Potter. Severus sat down, his hands shaking a bit, as he opened the envelope. There was a piece of stationary, neatly folded. Severus opened it up.

Dear Severus,

I decided to send this by Muggle post rather than owl so that it would not be inconspicuous. Please let me know if Muggle post actually works. I've never done it before.

I'm sorry I took so long in writing to you. I decided to take what you said about writing when I was ready at face value. I think this is the first opportunity where I have been ready. The thought of writing to you seems much less intimidating than talking to you.

Do not feel guilty over what happened, Severus. It wasn't your fault. I know you well enough to know that you still hold it against yourself. Please don't. Forgive yourself, because everyone else has forgiven you.

My studies have not been suffering. In fact, my grades are as good as they have ever been. I'm near the top in all of my classes. That's probably because I've actually been studying. Studying allows me to forget who I am and just learn about whatever the subject is. I can drill cards, or read the text, but while I do that, I'm not Harry Potter. I'm just learning.

I write to Ron and Hermione, but I haven't been able to bring myself to tell them anything. Hermione and I discuss school, and Ron likes to hear about Muggle sports. Things like Quiddich, but without brooms. I follow them so that I can tell him about what's going on. It gives me something to do.

I believe you would approve of my new sense of fashion. I've found I have a certain love of dark colors, especially black. If you didn't know me, I suppose I look like a Slytherin now.

Oh, Severus, I hurt so bad. Can't the pain just end? You healed me well. I have hardly any physical effects left. But my heart still hurts. I just want it to end. I got rid of all my knives, even the ones for the kitchen. I don't want to do anything stupid, but I'm afraid I will. I keep my wand locked up, just in case. Sometimes, it just seems like such a good idea. What's happening to me, Severus? Have I gone mad? Is this what happened to Mr. and Mrs. Longbottom? I should probably be locked up in St. Mungo's, but I don't want to be. I just want to be normal.

I was never normal. When I lived with the Dursleys, I was a freak. And then I was a freak among wizards too, for being The Boy-Who-Lived. I wish I wasn't The Boy-Who-Lived. I wish I was killed by Voldemort seventeen years ago. Then I could have been normal.

Not even sleep is a good escape. I relive those nights, over and over in my dreams. There isn't a night goes by without a nightmare. I sound like a child, I know, but it's hell to relive them.

I feel broken and empty. I have only one favor to ask of you. Please don't remember me like this. I've lost everything I ever treasured. Remember me as I was for those few months we had.

Perhaps one day, I'll see my way clear to returning to Spinner's End.

With Love,

Harry

A single tear drop fell on the paper.

The End


End file.
